Thursday, April 22, 2010

The mighty adventurer!

Elliott has become an excellent furniture surfer. He did half a lap around the living room and kitchen the other day. Now that he is able to go adventuring he is a very busy little boy.
Only a toddler, a new one at that, can make the most impeccable house seem dirty. They seem to find every little piece of lint, scrap of paper, or otherwise. Lucky for me he still finds novelty in giving what ever he finds to me.
Its endlessly amusing to me to watch him find enjoyment in the weirdest things. We have toys strewn all over the house, yet the pop box, dog kennel, and lint roller are his favorite things to play with.
He also has a big love for music. Its about the only time he pays attention to the T.V. is when there is music or singing on.
I must admit I am really enjoying this stage of his life!

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Looking back. WARNING LONG.

I meant to do this near his birthday. Look back at our first year together. Life happened and I was busy. So lets call this last 14 months looking back.

We got pregnant intentionally. We were advised that it may help with my ongoing, undiagnosed, medical condition. "They", being the doctors and specialists, thought that my medical condition was probably making it less and less likely that we could become pregnant. And honey, we weren't getting any younger! So we thought, desperately, that it was a way for me to get better, and for us to be a little family before it was to late.

My labor was not typical. Enough said. We were both healthy and happy.

Elliott was a wonderful little new born. He breast fed easy, like he was born to do it. I have never been a person that liked a lot of physical contact, so it was hard for me to be fed off of day and night, but I did it for him. He liked his sleep from the get go. I did have delayed bonding with him, which I guess can happen when you have a c-section.

Shortly after his birth Chris' grandpa was diagnosed with Cancer. Shortly after so was my grandmother. His grandfather passed away in June. My grandmother is still fighting the fight. She is a tough old lady! Chris' stepfather's dad was also diagnosed with cancer that year, and he recently passed away.

The same day of Chris grandfathers funeral a close friend tried to take her life. Elliott was only a few months old at this point. A few weeks later I had my exploitative surgery, and we again were rocked with devastating news.

Looking back at the last 14 months I realized that I was having a "hard time" being a mom. I spent most of my time feeling like a really crappy mom. Like it wasn't coming natural to me. Everything from wanting to spend time with him, and wanting to be affectionate to him felt forced. Taking a look back at everything else that happened, I now realize that I was dealing with a lot more then most first time moms have to deal with. Death, friend drama, health issues, health scares, and everything else that was going on.

Really if we had taken even half of all those issues off the table I think I would have felt much more successful, comfortable, and confident about my new role as mom. Discussing all of these things with my sister recently has made me realize that I just need to forgive myself for the last year, and look back at all the success I had as a mother.

Elliott is a wonderful person. Right from the get go, he has been a really easy baby. He slept good from the start. He eats well. He has a super laid back personality, takes life as it happens. He is a snuggle bunny, which I can proudly say I LOVE! He is a flirt. If you are a woman, with dark skin, dark hair, and dark eyes, watch out! He has had several developmental set backs. His head is crazy large head. It held him back from crawling and walking. We where insured by the peditrician that once his muscles where strong enough he would do a bunch of new stuff all at once. It felt pretty crappy watching all the other babies do new things, while I had a little baby blob. Within a two week period he went from just doing a weird version of crawling to pulling himself up holding on to us, and low furniture, to walking while holding on to us, to furniture surfing!! It feels great to finally see him figuring out the world is a place to explore.

Chris has been the most amazing person that I have ever known. He is a great dad, he is a great partner, and he is a great person. He takes care of me when I can't even take care of me. He puts Elliott and I first when it counts. He stands up to me being a suck. He is there for me when the craziness of life gets me down. He is more then I deserve, and a better man then most women get. He is supportive, and he has stuck buy me through this horrifying, crazy medical drama that I have been dealing with for the last 4 years.

I look forward to the next year. I am hoping life is a bit calmer on all fronts because I know that Elliott isn't going to be getting any calmer, and I want to take that on full force! I know that I will have great support from Chris, my family, and my close friend.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

No news is good news and Long time no blog.

Life has been hectic the last couple months. My grandmother is battling cancer and is doing well, but the radiation she received is doing a number on her brain.
We got the results of the CT scan and it looks like we have to see a specialist because two of Elliott's cranial plates have fused prematurely. Its probably not a big deal, but we have been referred to a neuro surgeon. I called his office a few weeks after the result and was told that depending on the severity of the case we should expect a call for consultation in the next 6 months! WTF? Um okay... So its been a few months and Chris and I are trying to look at it as a good thing. The surgery he would need is a button hole surgery and is pretty straight forward.
Elliott's head has been the same measurement since 9 months, so that's a great thing! He has also been an extremely busy boy. He STILL does not crawl on all fours. He prefers the sit and pull myself around with my arms method. It works great for our hard floors, but you get him on carpet and he gets frustrated.
Just this last week he pulled himself up on his slide grandma and grandpa got him for his birthday! He looked soooooo proud! The last few days he has finally figured out furniture surfing. For several weeks now he walks holding on to our fingers for support.
The little guy is doing exactly what the doctor said he would do, a bunch of things all at once, skipping steps along the way to catch up with other kids his age.