Down in the dumps to Pumped!

I make no secrete of the fact I badly wanted a girl. Chris and I have decided that we only want one child. I wanted a girl to dress up in super cute outfits, share that special mother daughter bond with, and you know, just to be girly with!

Well when I found out at 19 weeks I was having a boy I gave myself a whole 24 hours to mourn the loss of the idea of a girl. I cried, I got mad, and then I got over it. I went out shopping for some super cute boy clothes, couldn't find any, had a little prego lady melt down, and then got over that.

I was amazed at the amount of anger I received when I told people I would be upset about not having a girl. They seemed to think I was saying I would be upset at having a boy. That was not it at all, it was that I was NOT having a girl. I would get angered responses of "As long as its healthy you should be happy!" Well no shit I want my baby to be healthy. Who shows up at the doctors office after an ultrasound and gets news that their baby is healthy and says "Damn! I wanted a sick baby!" It was such a stupid response.

Like I have already said, I was upset I wasn't having a girl. I gave myself permission to be upset about it, to be angry for 24 hours and then I moved on. Why were people so mad that I was upset I wasn't getting what I wanted. Having a baby is a huge physical and emotional investment. I am aloud to have my feelings, and be true to them. If I didn't acknowledge how I felt and went through a mourning process how was I ever going to be super pumped about having a boy, and all the joys that comes with?

Now that I have my awesome little man, I couldn't imagine it any other way. I am a dog trainer, and there just isn't any girly puppy themed clothes out there. There are tons of boy puppy themed clothes! Super cute!! And I get to avoid the whole girl drama thing. There is a special bond between a mother and her son. I also am very aware that I don't want to raise a mommies boy, or be oblivious to the fact that my son can make mistakes.

I am looking forward to exploring and discovering the world from a totally different perspective, a boys perspective! Chris is constantly reminding me I need to get over my fear of bugs. It will definitely be an adventure as he grows! But we will learn and explore together!

So today I was out and about and seen some super awesome little boy clothes. I have decided that I am going to dress him like a little punk! Chris and I have always said that if he has enough hair by his first birthday we are shaving a mow-hawk into his hair.