New Found Insecurities.

I have never been a super confident person, but I knew what I was good at, what I was not, and what my faults where.
Now as a mom I find the constant worry of "Am I screwing this little person up for life?" really drains any confidence I did have. The constant self doubt, criticism from friends, family, and society as a whole, make me feel like an insecure, whiny person. It seems that things I am confident I am doing right are questioned by family and friends, but if I am unsure about something I get empty reinforcement from those same friends and family. "You are doing a great job, no worries" is offered only after I voice my concern, never sporadically.
Do you mom friends a favor next time you see them doing something you wouldn't necessarily do with your child, keep you mouth shut. A very high percentage of parents out there are not out to screw up their kids. They honestly think what they are doing is fine, or they wouldn't be doing it.
That being said, there are people out there who are just lazy and don't care about certain things. An example I can think of is, a friend of a friend cleaned out all her bottom cupboards and drawers in her kitchen because she was to lazy to teach her child to stay out of them once he started crawling. That is one thing. Another acceptable time to voice you opinion is if you actually know (because you have kids) that doing something can be harmful to a child. Like if you found out your new mom friend was feeding whole milk to her baby before the age of 9 months (even 12 months for some doctors). Maybe inquire if they knew this could cause milk allergies in the future, and digestive distress now. But if its something stupid like how they put their child to bed, how long they breast feed for, or how they bathe their child just don't bother bringing it up. I can guarantee you that she has questioned and re-questioned herself on the very thing you are questioning and has still decided that its the best for HER baby.
Please remember ever criticism, not matter how well meaning, is just another strike to her already unsteady confidence. If its something that has more to do with values, keep it to yourself. And remember to tell your mom friends positive things you see too! "I love the way you child seems to really love you", "You make a great effort to try to have your child be curious about the world", or something along those lines. We don't hear it from our children, and normally not from our spouse. I can honestly say it would make my day if someone pointed out something they thought I was doing right instead of pointing out how I could do something differently, or better.
Unfortunate I am finding that this new found insecurity is leaking into other aspects of my life. There are some days I feel like a scared chihuahua wondering around my house fearful I am screwing everything up. (The reference comes from the fact I do in fact have 3 chihuahuas, 2 of which look terrified at any moment, one of those being an act, the other being genuine) I feel insecure in my relationships, with my hobbies I have mastered, and with just life in general. Its very frustrating for me.